I want to take my love and hate you until the end.

I go through these phases. I can't emotionally deal with life correctly. I'm in the best relationship I've ever been in and I'm still finding things in my life that make me sad. Mostly because a shrink would tell me I'm not happy with myself but how do I figure out what makes me happy? Succeeding, promotion, and money. I have none of this. Wish I could change myself, but a tiger never really changes their stripes, do they?